Frequently Asked Questions

EILEEN Z. SORRENTINO

Collaborative Attorney and Mediator

Click on the question below to see the answer.

How long does it take to get a divorce?

Under the recently adopted time standards, a court-based divorce should be completed within fourteen months. It is too early to know whether this goal is attainable by the courts. Mediated and collaborative divorces generally take between six and nine months, but these are averages. Each divorce has its own special circumstances, and yours may take a longer or shorter time. Many times one party is anxious to complete the process while the other is still getting over the shock that the divorce is going to happen. This will have a bearing on the length of time it takes to complete the process.

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Do I even need a lawyer?

Divorce is a complex legal event, governed by ever-changing rules, regulations and law. The outcome of a divorce will effect your life and your children's lives well into the future. While people may represent themselves in a divorce, and some do, the prudent person will choose to work with a lawyer. You have only one chance to get it right.

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When are outside professionals needed?

There are times when professionals, other than your attorney, are used in divorce. Examples are divorce coaches, financial and tax advisors, or child and parenting specialists. Although their fees may add to the cost of your divorce, the cost is often offset by their effectiveness in streamlining the process, thus saving you attorney's fees. Their knowledge and skill will help you create a better agreement.

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Do we each need a lawyer?

A single lawyer may not represent both parties in a divorce. If your partner hires a lawyer, and you do not, the lawyer's duty is to her client, not to you. The lawyer is not permitted to give you advice or work to protect your interests. This is true even if the lawyer is friendly and seems to be helping you.

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How much will my divorce cost?

Each divorce is unique, and the issues involved in each one are different and could be complex. There are court-imposed filing fees, and fees for certified copies of marriage licenses, and service by sheriffs. The attorney charges for time spent working on your matter, and this includes meeting with you, telephone, letter and e-mail communications with you and your spouse's attorney. It includes drafting many types of documents from financial statements to a Separation Agreement. It may also involve expensive court appearances, depending on the type of divorce and the issues invoving assets, debt, and children. Contested custody cases or cases which go to trial are usually the most costly
Attorney Sorrentino will have her paralegal do as much work as possible on your case, as the fees for the paralegal are much less than attorney's fees.

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What about fees, and what is a retainer?

   Attorney Sorrentino charges a small flat fee for an initial consultation, which is credited against the retainer if you retain her services. During the consultation, she will answer your questions, you can get to know her, and she can get to know you and your issues.
   If you decide to use her services, you will sign a fee agreement and pay a retainer. The money in a retainer is, by law, put into a separate trust account to draw from to pay legal fees as they are earned, usually on a monthly basis. These funds must be carefully accounted for. You may be asked to add additional money to your retainer or "client funds" account if it is used up by work that is done for you. A detailed monthly statement is sent to you showing exactly what was done and at what cost.
   Mediation clients are charged by the hour, and the parties usually divide the fees, which are payable at the end of each mediation session. The attorney also charges for drafting the necessary documents to file in Court. A retainer account is usually set up to pay for the document drafting.

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How does the Collaborative Process work?

Collaborative negotiations take place in a series of four-way meetings. The agenda for each meeting is set and circulated ahead of time. An important part of the process is that nothing will be discussed at a meeting that is not on the agenda. This way no one is blindsided, and you are not forced to talk about an issue until you are ready. After each meeting, you are given "homework," which usually involves obtaining appraisals, gathering documents or completing financial statements, and one lawyer's "homework" is to prepare and circulate a summary of the meeting, any agreements you reached and the agenda for the next meeting. You and the other party determine what will be on the agenda for each meeting after the first. Agreements reached at a four-way meeting are not binding until each of you decides they are.
You and the other party may meet with other professionals--divorce coaches or child specialists, for example--outside of the four-way meetings, or a specialist may attend a meeting. At the end of the process the meeting summaries provide an outline for the Separation Agreement--the divorce agreement--that will be filed in Court.

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I just want to tell the judge my story. How can I do that if I don't go to court?

Anyone who has experienced a court-based divorce knows the frustration of not being able to "tell their story" to the judge. Even years afterward, you may feel that no one has ever heard your side of things. The courtroom is filled with many different attorneys, divorcing couples, court staff and others--it is a surprisingly public place. Everyone there gets to hear your business, but no one hears your story. The judge has to deal with a large number of cases and many different issues, and, frankly, is not interested in the details of why you are getting a divorce or whose fault it is. The Court will just deal with the legal issues--dividing the marital assets and the marital debt, determining child support and custody and, in some cases, alimony.
In both mediation and collaborative divorce, you will have an opportunity to tell your story and listen to the other side's story. By airing the full dimensions of your conflict, you may be able to negotiate more effectively and find a true resolution of your issues.

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Is collaborative law the best solution for me?

Going through a court-based divorce can never give you a result tailored to your exact needs and interests. There is no jury in the Probate and Family Court, and the judge will follow the law to make decisions that neither of you may have reached on your own and that may not satisfy either of you. One size fits all. Even if you settle the case in the hallway before a pretrial conference or a scheduled trial, you may experience the "buyer's remorse" or "seller's remorse" that many parties feel the day after a rushed settlement.
Divorce is traumatic, frustrating, anger-producing and scary at times. But if you want to make a successful transition to a new place in your life, you will probably be happier with an agreement you make yourself. If you believe you and your partner are trustworthy and capable of negotiating fairly and respectfully, a collaborative divorce may be right for you. Even a high-conflict divorce can be resolved using the collaborative practice.

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